From an unexpectedly rare experience from last year, August 2015, I have been digging into what love and life is. I always felt I loved myself and I knew who I was, until something hits you and you lose control and lose the sense of self.
I have been learning a few things, which I did not come into awareness before:
1. You cannot fully love others, if you do not fully love yourself. Peace comes from within, if you do not have positive energy inside you with yourself, it is difficult to have that outside of yourself.
2. Love occurs in the absence of ego. Ego means you want to achieve something in the name of love. Maybe you think you love someone because of his/her beauty, his/her achievements. Real love comes when you expect nothing in return, no enhancement of your own good, but purely a giving gesture.
3. Love occurs in the absence of blame. When you love someone, you love for who they are. Yes, they can disappoint you but that is the room for constructive improvement for the relationship instead of pointing fingers at each other.
4. Being okay with pain can lead you openness to love. Too many people live in the idealization of love as if it is the greatest drug which will keep you high all the time without any consequence. However I have understood that love is experiencing all the emotions, feelings and being okay with the emotions. It is as if you are the audience of your own feelings, you watch them but you are not them. As a result, you are not overwhelmed with whatever you feel at one particular moment.
I am still on my way to be in peace with myself. However I would like to share these four things I learned with you. If you have any comment, feel free to leave it below.